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Thursday, December 17, 2009

IF YOU'RE SELLING THOSE PUPPIES, I'LL HAVE THE ONE WITH THE PINK NOSE.

I haven't had a lot to say of late but man, I have to get this down. This is priceless.

I'm out walking the Boys, as I do every night and as I approach the top of the hill where lies a junction (intersection to Yanks and Aussies) I hear the noise typically associated with people having a good time. In other words, drunk. Drunks concern me. Drunks can be erratic and unpredictable.
So my ears pricked up so to speak (read on...) and I prepared to call the Boys to me lest they aggravate the inebriated.
I needed have worried as it becomes clear that the noisemakers were 4 girls in their 20s I'd guess. Girls go all gooey over the Boys so I relaxed a bit.
Now here's were it gets surreal:

Two of these young ladies were topless; strolling down the middle of the road drunk as you like and making a fair racket.

Then I hear, "There's someone coming" and the girl on the left of the pack covers her chest with her top - doesn't put it on - just covers. But the other exhibitionist has no such shame and proudly stands there calling at me with her hands in the air displaying her...wares, lets call it (or should that be "them"). And asking me, "Do you think these are sexy?" (Oh man, as I say, priceless hoho).
So me being the gentleman I am, keep my distance and continue to walk, not wanting to do what a man would do when faced with a naked woman in the street, and stare lasciviously. (I had to look, though - it's rude to ignore people).

Enter the Boys in this little tale. They decide to sod of down this small walkway after God knows what, leaving me standing there with this girl loudly asking me these questions concerning the sexiness of her shape.
So I must reply, in between Shouts of "Boys!" I return with noncommittal remarks like, "not bad" and "yeah it's alright". And, "you've scared my dogs off". All said in good humour. (Christ, what else could I say?).

Surreal, huh?

But wait, there's more:

This chick then bends over and drops her (shorts or miniskirt - can't remember, I was understandably distracted...) and stands up completely buck naked but for a pair of briefs (fairly unflattering ones I might add - I neglected to mention that to the girl...).
And begins to, well, "jiggle" would describe what happened next.
Her friends, including the other topless one now sitting on the kerb holding her top to her chest and feeling I would imagine, a little sheepish, were attempting to curtail their friend's demonstration.

Eventually the Boys returned and I carried on my merry, yet mildly astonished way.

This is where I live.