Total Pageviews

Thursday, December 17, 2009

IF YOU'RE SELLING THOSE PUPPIES, I'LL HAVE THE ONE WITH THE PINK NOSE.

I haven't had a lot to say of late but man, I have to get this down. This is priceless.

I'm out walking the Boys, as I do every night and as I approach the top of the hill where lies a junction (intersection to Yanks and Aussies) I hear the noise typically associated with people having a good time. In other words, drunk. Drunks concern me. Drunks can be erratic and unpredictable.
So my ears pricked up so to speak (read on...) and I prepared to call the Boys to me lest they aggravate the inebriated.
I needed have worried as it becomes clear that the noisemakers were 4 girls in their 20s I'd guess. Girls go all gooey over the Boys so I relaxed a bit.
Now here's were it gets surreal:

Two of these young ladies were topless; strolling down the middle of the road drunk as you like and making a fair racket.

Then I hear, "There's someone coming" and the girl on the left of the pack covers her chest with her top - doesn't put it on - just covers. But the other exhibitionist has no such shame and proudly stands there calling at me with her hands in the air displaying her...wares, lets call it (or should that be "them"). And asking me, "Do you think these are sexy?" (Oh man, as I say, priceless hoho).
So me being the gentleman I am, keep my distance and continue to walk, not wanting to do what a man would do when faced with a naked woman in the street, and stare lasciviously. (I had to look, though - it's rude to ignore people).

Enter the Boys in this little tale. They decide to sod of down this small walkway after God knows what, leaving me standing there with this girl loudly asking me these questions concerning the sexiness of her shape.
So I must reply, in between Shouts of "Boys!" I return with noncommittal remarks like, "not bad" and "yeah it's alright". And, "you've scared my dogs off". All said in good humour. (Christ, what else could I say?).

Surreal, huh?

But wait, there's more:

This chick then bends over and drops her (shorts or miniskirt - can't remember, I was understandably distracted...) and stands up completely buck naked but for a pair of briefs (fairly unflattering ones I might add - I neglected to mention that to the girl...).
And begins to, well, "jiggle" would describe what happened next.
Her friends, including the other topless one now sitting on the kerb holding her top to her chest and feeling I would imagine, a little sheepish, were attempting to curtail their friend's demonstration.

Eventually the Boys returned and I carried on my merry, yet mildly astonished way.

This is where I live.

13 comments:

mutters said...

Wild stuff, huh, Missy? It occurred to me that mayhaps I should have gone for a closer inspection but the gentleman in me prevailed.
Poor drunk girl hoho. Her friends, who were horrified, must've given her hell the next day.
Oh man, I could have huge fun with this if I ever see her again (though I wonder would I recognise her clothed - probably a line I WILL use if I do...).
Nice to hear from ye, Missy. I hope all is well with you and yours. Have the merriest Christmas.

Lizzie said...

Oh My God .. only you! LMFAO

mutters said...

Well hey hey, Liz; haven't heard from you in a while. I see you've all but shut your blog down.

I don't think this is what the suffragettes had in mind when they burnt their bras, somehow.

My life's a porn movie haha.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Unknown said...

Well--that must have brightened up your Christmas? Will you be meandering that way again on New Year's Eve--????

Great story -- a little over the top --bad pun---- or maybe not--depending on how you look at it--or them. Truth can be stranger than fiction!!!!

Glad to read that you are back.

mutters said...

It's the way I always go but I don't expect this to reoccur.

Not a word of a lie in this tale, G. If there was it would involve me performing like a porn star with all four of them!

KB said...

Oh dear. All I can thinnk is that those girls were lucky it was you they ran into and not some drunken men who would have acted much differently.

P.S. There must have been some good nipple action to make you forget the difference between of and off.

Happy New Year mate!

mutters said...

'Cause after all, KB, it's all about the nipple. (Some memory you've got there that was a fair while ago).

Yep, there was no hiding them.

BTW - when are you getting a new fuckin phone, man. I got your Christmas greeting, but I can't reply remember...

You're with a loved one though so I've no doubt it was a beaut.

Oh! Hey! Just remembered...I've bet a Maori boyo in work 20 bucks that the Crusaders finish ahead of the Blues in this year's Super 14. Heh heh. Kerching!! Go Richie (congrats on the Player of the Year).

KB said...

I know you can't reply but I wanted to send you good wishes anyway. I'll let you know when I buy a new phone.

Go the Blues! I'm still crying over that $50.

Speaking of nipple action, I saw a pic of Kate yesterday and she looked beautiful (as always) but there was some action going on. Thought of you.

mutters said...

Yeah Liz, 'coz you've read them all!!

KB: Console yourself with knowing it went to a good cause.

Ahhh...Kate. Such a sweetheart.

Lizzie said...

Twas not me sunshine .. promise!

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Spoony Quine said...

OMGWTF and other capital letters!

That's amazing! That's even weirder than some of the stuff I've been through!