I'll start with an exasperated sigh as I open the "Body and Soul" section to see a double page spread reporting on our need to "rethink our relationship with the sun's rays".
After years and years of the "slip, slop, slap" campaign to encourage people (morons) to put on sunscreen, hats and sunnies, we are now told, "hang on - maybe we were a bit too hasty with that".
Quelle surprise.
Dr Muttars has written about this before; that a body needs the suns rays as it's the primary source of vitamin D, and to completely isolate oneself from such a source will inevitably lead to problems in the future - hence this article - and its claim of increased reports of vitamin deficiency.
The headline concerns the NSW Premier Nathan Rees being told not to ask questions of his boss at the time, Milton Orkopolous, the child sex offender, if he wanted any kind of political future. Political expedience at its most insidious.
Page 8 has a report about child snatch cases; they seem to be on the increase which is a worry. Around 20 cases of attempted abduction have been reported in the last fortnight. Disturbing, (yet relieving to me at least that I don't have children).
On the opposite page is a picture of the dopey bint, Kate Milligan, she of the "glass in face" episode. And a report of the Police's dismay at Ms Milligan's refusal to cooperate with them regarding the case. They say the case is in danger of collapse because the woman would prefer to talk to the media rather than them. The accompanying picture of Ms Milligan shows the scar; admittedly it's not an enormous scar but that's hardly the point is it?
So yet another violent offender gets off scott free because of a weak woman.
A double spread on 14/15 reports on "The MOTHER OF ALL BAILOUTS". This concerns the one trillion rescue package from the Bush government for the shaky financial markets in the US. This on top of the 500 billion the Iraq/Afghanistan war has cost so far (with more - oh so much more - to come).
Not to be alarmist but this could be the beginning of the end for the mighty US. Although it may seem so, America's coffers are not a bottomless pit.
Page 30 has a report, again echoing what I have written many times in the past. That junk food should be treated as just as dangerous as cigarettes. They don't actually go as far as claiming that (because the editor wouldn't allow it - because he has to cater to the anti-smoking lobby - and politicians - and bleeding hearts - and ALL the rest) but the intimation is the same. That being that burgers, fries, chocolate et al are every bit as dangerous when overindulged, as tobacco (more so in fact - obesity is now a bigger killer than tobacco - and it costs health systems the world over, more. More exasperation from yours truly as I've been saying this for years...).
Page 33 carries a small piece about the injuries being experienced by parachutists in the Australian army. Some blah, blah, blah that ends with, "Military parachuting, as with civilian, is inherently risky. Which is why a reserve chute is carried".
I have skydived (skydove...?) about 200 times and frankly can't understand how people die doing it. If one packs one's chute correctly - which is quite simple actually - there is no reason why it won't deploy - as mine did every time of the 200 so...go figure, I think's the term.
34 and 35 have a report from a female cop whining on about how awful it was to have been attacked. Yeah, boohoo love - if you can't hack it get another job then - you're meant to be a tough police officer - not a baby! Join the ranks of something like 45% of cops who are currently on leave for "counselling" because they saw something "scary" or "upsetting". What...the fuck...happened to tough policemen? Keep bloody women off the front line for a start. How the hell can a five foot nothing female restrain an over six foot nutter? Answer: she can't. Nuff said there.
Next we have an article entitled, "What gives us stress?". The NRMA (a motoring organisation, strangely enough...) has conducted a study asking the question.
Smelly people,
Unstocked supermarket shelves,
The office know-it-all,
...are some of the top offenders.
I don't work in an office; supermarket shelves, stocked or otherwise, don't bother me, but don't get me started on stinking, smelly, unwashed and apparently unaware of a marvellous invention called soap and fucking water, mingers. It's the main reaon why I don't take public transport.
Page 39:
Ur kids r L8 4 skool.
With the subheading: Schools go high tech. It's a story about schools texting parent if their kids don't turn up for school. Dear God! High tech? Have you read the line. More like dumbed down if you ask me - and from a school too. Methinks here we have the answer as to why students are failing miserably at English.
But let's just consider this for a second. Someone's brat doesn't turn up so you send a text. Are you telling me that you life is so incredibly hectic that you can't even text, "Your kids are late for school"? Seriously? You're sooo busy you have to resort to this...this...abomination of English. Shame on you teacher/principal and if this is how you're going to act then you can kiss goodbye to any more money or holidays!
And staggeringly I just noticed on the same page, slightly lower, a small article concerning teachers "plea for funding". Gadzooks!!!
In world news, Tony Blair, the ex-British Prime Minister, is at the prestigious Yale University in the US. Preaching his message of faith to the Ivy-League students. Which faith?
Fuckin PAPISM!!!!! I'd prefer he preached Islam, frankly.
Russians attack Rice:
...Is the headline on 44. Condoleeza Rice, the American Secretary of State, gave a speech in Washington, claiming the Russians "had gone too far in Georgia, was taking a dark turn towards authoritarianism, and was on a one-way path to self-imposed isolation and international irrelevance".
Don't hold back Condo.
Russia replied with, "this is not the first time that representatives of the US government have grossly distorted the events by Georgian aggression against South Ossetia".
Looks like the fox, Sarah Palin could be right.
Politics, politics, politics...a bit about Sean Connery and how success put him under huge pressure (boohoo Sean - my heart bleeds!) cartoons and the pretty people at parties.
That's the Sunday Rag for this week, folks.
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2 comments:
Not exactly brief there M but I enjoyed your up-date.
I did notice that many of the topics in your Sunday rag are articles you've written about previously on your blog. It's about time they caught up.
Its funny actually; my contention is constant while they hop from opinion to opinion so in fact they do catch up – then they change their minds again and drift away from it – only to some years later utter the immortal words – “hang on…we were right the first time. Forget we said this and go back to the original opinion”.
Really, when one stands back and just watches from afar, hence providing more accurate perspective of the bigger picture, it is very funny – sortof Pythonesque in its absurdity.
"Okay – listen to us...believe this...no wait, don’t believe that – believe this...no wait - go back to the first one...no wait – hang on...what was the middle bit”
See what I mean?? Hoho. Knuckleheads.
P.S. Individually, they are brief. Just imagine how they waffled on in the Rag article. The vitamin D one covered two fuckin pages of blether; the facts were in there, admittedly – just buried in amongst the stats and quotes. This expert says this – that expert says that.
Fortunately for the masses, there is I - the arbiter of truth.
Furthermore, everything you see in this here blog is one hundred percent bang on and you can take that to the bank.
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