STILL WITH THE ANTI-SMOKING

A new ad campaign has hit the screens to encourage people to quit smoking. A very graphic campaign – just like the images we see on packets.

Verity Firth, the health minister, with a zealous glee almost (do they ever use anything else?) cites all manner of statistics. X amount of deaths per year; strokes, blindness (which is such bollocks and so obviously a scare tactic by a government desperate to do something...anything).

Well I’ve news for you, Ms Firth, (who it must be said is hardly waif-like; Verity is obviously fond of her burgers) ; as obesity now costs more in terms of deaths and costs to the health system, when will we see similar graphic ads of fat bastards wheezing as they haul their lard-stuffed arses off sofas, or puffing and panting as they unsuccessfully attempt to kick a football around with their equally porky kids? Or wedging their mammoth bulk into an aeroplane seat with the flab hanging over the sides like escaping ooze from a squeezed sponge. (Matter of fact, some airlines have recently demanded that the obese now pay for two seats - the fatties went apeshit. Slap it into ye, you fat turds! Now you know how we feel).

Or is that discrimination? Maybe so, but where's the difference? Why should I and my ilk (smokers) be forced to view images like these and constantly have to bear the repeated waffle from the anti-smoking lobby, when the group of people who now cost economies more are apparently protected from the same? Isn't that then discrimination - the epitome of such in fact?

And not only do fatties take up at least twice as much room with their enormous bulk. They tend to smell as they sweat more with their poor over-worked, under pressure frames struggling to move such obesity. Y'see, a body when it is created, has a heart built to suit. If that body is doubled (tripled, quadrupled in some fierce cases) in size, the heart, which is designed to carry only a certain amount, is under severe pressure and any exertion can and usually does have fatal consequences.

And don't EVEN get me started on pissheads with their wife-beating, raping, drunk driving, stabbing, violent protagonists!!! Not to mention liver and kidney disease. Bloodshot eyes, beer bellies, sick days...

Fuck man, smokers are veritable saints by comparison.

Tch!