THE BECKHAM ROADSHOW

Good ole 'golden balls', as he's oft referred to by his wife, the ex-Spice girl, Victoria Beckham, is in Sydney.
He came with his football team, LA Galaxy, the team who've paid an enormous 250 million dollars over three years for the services of the aforementioned footballer.

The man is arguably a whole industry in himself with his multi million dollar sponorship deals with Adidas, Rolex and countless other brands whose pockets know no depth to have the man advertise their product. (Word is he's being courted to sell sand to the Arabs...).

Anyway, clotheshorse aside, he's here for a football game - an exhibition match between his team, LA Galaxy, and Sydney FC. It's been joked that the game is actually between Sydney FC and David Beckham, hoho, such is the excitement over the superstars imminent arrival.

The game was played live on free to air Channel Ten (which interestingly, is more than can be said for the recent rugby world cup which had all but the semis and final, excepting the Australian games, delayed..!)

And as a testament to the man's pulling power, consider the following:-

Football is almost an underground sport here in Oz and Sydney FC's last game against Queensland Roar (far out - such monikers!) drew a crowd of 8 thousand or so.

Ticket sales for this game have exceeded EIGHTY thousand, and probably 70,000 or so are there just to see David Beckham. Hilariously, in a play on words of the film, Bend it like Beckham, two young fillies held aloft a placard on which was written - "Bend Me Beckham". Hoho, you go girls, don't hold back (where's my Beckham mask?)

(Even yours truly is writing about it right here on this humble blog-type thing).

The talk was all about whether Beckham would score; whether he would even play the full 90 minutes (a reference to his unfortunate injury streak since joining the Italian superteam, before he went to America). Well, score he did, in the most stylish of ways, in an almost trademark fashion from a free kick. Over the wall of men it flew and curved beautifully to escape the keepers stretched arms.

The spectators went ballistic.

Sydney FC won the game in the end 5-3 but the general concensus was that the event (which due to Beckham's involvement, was what it had become) was a huge success and the word is that interest in the round ball sport could be exploited and developed purely on the back of this game.

As for David, well, reports are that he has conducted himself impeccably, going as far to visit (on the sly) a young fan, afflicted with cancer. He has been gracious and appreciative of his position when appearing in public and has insisted, despite being able to afford, and assumed he would do so, fivestar hotels etc. on staying with his teammates in...lesser accommodation.

For my part, I have always liked the man, and have never been an exponent of the kind of patronizing insults that have so been a part of his life from the jealous and envious.
Such spite-filled persons, whose vitriol is quite obviously borne out of a deep-seated envy and personal shame that they can't reach such heights themselves, make a living out of cutting down (or attempting to) those who did indeed rise above the ordinary.
David Beckham is one such man. He is married, seemingly in love with his wife, dotes on his children, and just happens to be one of the best footballers in current play - as evidenced by the trademark free kick finding the back of the net.

A true champion is he and I wish him all the success he can handle.

WR 426

Well, I've gone and done it. I tried, I tried so very hard to resist but it wouldn't be denied.

Muttars' new bike - a 2001 Yamaha WR 426! The fun to be had on this is verging on impossible to quantify.

PRICK CLUB AT IT AGAIN

Otherwise known as the PC lobby. They have decided that Santa, that most benign of givers should no longer be allowed to say ho ho ho.
They claim that it's too close to the American slang for whores. (See, yet another victim of America's bastardization of the language!)

So, the lobby in all their wisdom suggests Santa now says ha ha ha because it's...safer, less chance of misunderstanding. Several would-be Santas have left Santa school in disgust - good on them!

It's hard to believe actually that such an innocent phrase can be turned into an insult.

Well, screw you, PC arseholes!

HO....HO...HO!!!

The following is a transcript of a conversation yours truly had with a work colleague recently (we'll call him Kev). Be advised, said colleague is a truck driver so the language is...colourful!
Voting is compulsory in Oz - to not vote brings a fine.


ME: "So, Kev, any ideas on who you're votin for?"
KEV: "I don't vote, mate".
ME: "Isn't it illegal not to vote here?"
KEV: "Yeah, it is".
ME: "So how'd yget round it"?
KEV: "Well, when I was 18 I went to the voting booth with me ma and asked her was my name on the electoral roll. She said it was. I said - "screw it - I'm not voting, and went back home".
ME: "Y'get a fine?"
KEV: "About 2 weeks later a fine for 50 bucks came in the mail, so I wrote on the fine slip - 'fuck off, I don't vote for liars', and sent it back. About 2 weeks later I got another fine for 50 bucks so I wrote on it - 'what, are you slow learners, I told you to fuck off I don't vote for liars".

I'm having quite a chuckle at this because I love stickin it to the man.

ME: "So what happened next?"
KEV: "Well, about another 2 weeks after that someone from the office called me on the phone. And I told them pretty much what I had written. I said, 'look, these cunts make all sorts of promises that they never have any intention of keeping. They lie like fuck just to get elected then renege on everything they've promised. Like I said, I don't vote for liars, so you can shove your fuckin fine up yer arse!'
I'm full on laughing at this point and in my mirth I ask -
ME: "What'd they do?"
KEV: "They hung up on me!" Several weeks later I got a letter informing me I'd been struck of the electoral roll! I haven't voted since"

Kev, mate, my opinion of you has just increased tenfold, buddy! Hoho. There's nothing quite like telling a bureaucrat to shove somethin up their arse.

SUCKER CONVENTION

As reported in the Daily Rag:

"Large crowds are expected to march today in a nationwide 'Walk Against Warming'. Participants in more than 50 cities and towns will call on political parties to act on climate change..."

It goes on:

"Sydney's CBD will also host the biggest public rally of the election campaign with the walk from the Domain to draw more than 80,000 people".

80,000+ muppets. Prize fodder for Mohammed the used car salesman.

I have a question for these idiots and it's this. How much CO2 are 80,000 plus people putting into the atmosphere as you wind your merry way through the city (no doubt stuffing your faces with all kinds of food and leaving a filthy mess in your wake)? Or are you secure in your knowledge that you've pre-purchased your carbon credits? And therefore can pollute like buggery?

Just like your King, His Majesty, Al Gore. (Picture me bowing with a smirk here).

I will refer you to the post entitled "Have we really done it?" That is the truth; it is irrefutable. To believe otherwise just confirms my suspicions that Joe Public is indeed, an idiot.
Now, if I can just find a way to exploit and manipulate them as the big end of town do, then I'll be set!

Walk for Warming indeed. LMMFAO.

I propose a Walk for Muttars, or a Walk for Looser-Fitting Underwear, or a Walk for People who just like Walking!

NIL DESPERANDUM

Or - don't panic. That's the message from that fuckwit of fuckwits, our glorious Premier, Morris Iemma.

Yep, good ole Einstein has deemed that in the event of a terrorist attack, we should all immediately go to the goverment website recently created to advise of our next steps.

Alrighty, knucklehead. Next time I find myself in the midst of a terrorist attack, I'll whip out the laptop (providing I have it with me - and that it's charged - and that the battery, though charged, will hold the charge long enough to connect), I'll go to your website and I'll follow the instructions, one of which I'm sure will be - "in the event of a terrorist attack, immediately move in the OPPOSITE direction".

Cheers Morris -fantastic idea. I'll just sit amid the chaos and web surf.

Man, you're such a fucking twat!!

LOOK OUT FATTIES

Because the airlines have set their sights on you. It seems that if you're too fat, you're going to attract a 'fat tax'; similar to the extra payment one has to pay if one exceeds weight limits for baggage.
Matter of fact, Jetstar, Qantas's younger sibling as it were, has installed bigger seats in some of their aircraft to accommodate the more portly among us. The report I heard didn't elucidate whether said seats carried a higher charge but in this world of constant grab for money, I'd be very surprised if it didn't

Is it justified?

Is it discrimination?

Depends on to whom you speak. Theoretically, it seems...well, fair, really. I mean, aircraft need fuel; extra weight uses more fuel therefore one would think then, that as mentioned, if the weight limit is exceeded, regardless of how the limit is breached, an extra charge is indeed justified.

But many have come out screaming discrimination. I can understand that, being as I am, in the most viciously discriminated against group of citizens on earth - the downtrodden and put-upon smoker (aka the modern leper).

But mind you, if you've ever sat beside a really fat person on an aircraft (or bus, or train - which have a similar amount of room in their seats) you can no doubt understand as the rolls of obesity spill over every edge like escaped dough. Some even take up 2 or more seats so...why shouldn't they pay for 2 or more seats then...?

Hmmm...it's going to happen regardless of objection. If you have a problem with it, get your fat arse off the sofa and lose some of the excess then it won't be an issue - simple.

GLASSINGS

There has been a spate of these vicious attacks around old Sydney town of late. One of which involved two women. The unfortunate victim in this case was a pretty 22 year old. Why the author of the article felt the need to mention 'pretty' is a bit of a worry; are we to think that ugly people are less deserved of our sympathy?
(IN fact, it's all about tweaking peoples heartstrings in order to sell papers - that's the ultimate tragedy...)

So, the concerned parties have all, almost as a single voice, called for the glass glasses to be replaced with plastic ones to prevent further attacks. Good idea actually and will certainly prevent any more disfigurement. We'll leave the various other implements found in the average bar that could be used as weapons for another time (think bottles, shorts glasses, chairs etc).
The experienced and long time drinkers aren't happy about this suggestion, claiming that the beer doesn't taste the same out of plastic as it does glass. Though not a hardened drinker, I would tend to agree. But what's the alternative. Well, obviously, if we could somehow control the drunks in society...but especially in this Australian society, where to drink piss is almost a right of passage, where if one doesn't imbue regularly one is considered a freak, it has problems. Here in Oz, they have a thing called the 'drive through bottlo', a place where one can fill the boot of one's car with as much piss as one can carry.
How can we seriously think we're going to control such drunken behaviour when we're offering drink at cut prices, from drive through shops? When we get in the mail, offers of cases and cases of booze for little money?
Glasses have been smashed in peoples' faces since the beginning of time; as a young man, I was always very wary whenever I went out to bars. I have always been very conscious of alcohol-fuelled violence, being as I was, on the receiving end of it several times. Some I was able to defend myself, others, I took a kickin. Thankfully, I have never had a broken glass shoved in my face. I can only imagine what horror the victim must feel as the razor sharp broken glass just eviscerates almost, the face.
Sight is lost, scarring is permanent. All because some fuckwit full of piss has taken an umbrage.
But perhaps most frightening of all is the fact that now young women are becoming involved in what was a male dominated activity.

I'll tell you who's to blame for this. Bloody Germaine Greer and her ilk telling women for years that they're man's equal. Well maybe today's modern man who's hen-pecked, and pussy-whipped, but not me, girly. You aren't my equal no matter how many bras you burn.
It's the same with driving as well; young girls now are becoming more brazen with their driving - zipping about in their little racy cars like they're on a racetrack. That also used to be the domain of young men.
But now, armed with years of self belief, the young women are now as aggressive as young men.

Where's it going to end? The extrapolation's a bit scary.

CHECK THESE OUT!









Obviously it was a well-fed Bear...









The Polar Bear returned every night that week to play with the dogs

Well, I've been looking and looking for a new home; I may have found one (the one below) but Jeez, things better start moving soon as I have this wad of money that's burning a hole in my pocket.

And the bikes are calling like a siren! This could be the one! A stroker no less. Grab it by the throat and wring the neck of it - spin it up sideways, wheel in the air - woohoo!!!




Or this:



0-60mph in a tad over 2 seconds; top speed somewhere around 200mph. A triumph in motorcycle engineering - the mighty Fireblade.



Which, it has to be said, elicits a similar response in yours truly as the perfect Kate! Growl!

AUSTRALIA 2007

Yep, the 21st century in Australia. With the laptop, the ipod, the self-reversing car.
Medicine has`reached new levels; machines have become more intelligent.

In fact, we're told by the Prime Minister that we've never been better off. That we're earning more and the country's economy is rip-roaring along (with the obligatory interest rate rises).

Yep, we're all doing fine!

Then perhaps someone could enlighten me as to why a seven year old girl was found in her home dead from...starvation. She weighed nine, that's right, nine, kilos. Yep. In the 21st century in a civilized country we have a young girl dying of starvation - lack of food.

Makes you wonder, no...?

MUTTARS' NEW HOME????

Small, unassuming, three bedder, backing onto bush...hmmm, maybe.

BOOFER THE COLLIE

LOOK AT THE WEE FELLA GO! YOU GO MY SAN!

He's going for the frisbee obviously.

Mutley. Scoob. Why can't you do that! Scoob says...



Mutley says...



Yeah, pant pant pant, I can get it - throwittome throwittome, pant pant pant!


*Got this from a newspaper; was expedient to just click the picture from paper rather than screw around looking for it on their website, hence the spurious picture quality but it's adequate*

Jeez, last night was rough; while walkin the boys about 1AM it started to rain (almost exactly at the half-way point in the walk) so by the time we got back we were drenched.

I'd taken a load of washing (specifically a towel) to the machine of an associate that morning then went to work. The associate was at the time being led around by his dick by a floozy and therefore didn't return so I couldn't get the washing (towel) when done - so I had to use a T-shirt (which was surprisingly effective for me but when I had to dry the boys...).

Anyway, suffice to say it was a rather damp night's sleep.

Good news is, I may have found a new home; now I wait for the decision of the bank and of course we all know how philanthropic they can be - NOT!!. It'd be nice to be in for Christmas...maybe...

YES, GOD IS A MAN

HOUSE HUNTING

Tuesday saw the beginning of the ninth week I've lived in my ute. It's getting old I have to say, although the bottom line is that I HAVE a roof over my head. Spartan maybe, but a roof nonetheless.

I'm getting square eyes too with all the time spent looking at properties.

And dealing with realtors is severely affecting my belief in people. Not that there has been much of late but it doesn't help having my suspicions confirmed.

What to do what to do...

Keep on keepin on. Lics, right KB?

LOOKIT MAN, I'VE GOT MY SPOT AND AIN'T MOVIN NO MATTER WHAT FALLS ON ME!!!

BLOODY TONY ABBOTT - AGAIN!!

Yep, that rabid catholic's at it again. Regular readers will be aware of this insidious wee man's behaviour. First with the RU 486 abortion drug which he tried to block based on his fervent catholicism - then with the handing of an abortion conselling service to his cronies in the catholic church.

The latest is he's disparaged a terminally ill man who's been fighting for compensation from James Hardie group for cancer brought on by disassembling old fibro houses. Fibre cement dust facilitates said cancer.

Some off hand remark about the man's ethics being potentially questionable.

Bloody Tony Abbott!