BASTARD CATS
1. They don't fetch
2. They shit in corners where it lies stinking for days until you locate it.
3. They have no understanding of loyalty
4. They have slaves not owners
5. They torture their prey rather than just killing it.
6. They roam the neighbourhood freely like they own it.
7. They bugger up furniture when they sharpen their claws.
8. They won't protect aforementioned slaves
9. They run away at the first sign of trouble
10. For all intents and purposes they're effectively useless.
ROCKING DOGGIES
1. They most certainly do fetch (well, one of mine at least; the other catches then chews to bits)
2. They shit in the middle of the floor where you can find it and clean away immediately
3. They are the epitome of loyalty and demonstrate it every day.
4. They have masters to whom they devote themselves.
5. When they kill (which is a rarity in itself) it's as quick as nature permits with no self-indulgent torture.
6. They only chew things when they're puppies and too cute to get mad at.
7. They protect their master to the death.
8. They're first to jump in in defence of their master.
9. They're forced to be leashed at virtually all times due to the nature of the "masters' masters".
10. For all intents and purposes, having a doggie is good for a man
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11 comments:
LMAO! So true. I have a cat staying at my house, he's not mine and I wouldn't own one by choice. I refer to him as...a waste of space. Can't for the life of me understand why he stays here. Maybe he thinks he's a dog.
BTW, I think you should consider rephrasing No.10...having a doggie is good for a man! You didn't read that one back before posting did ya, hehe.
Just ignore this comment, I came back to tick the follow-up comments box.
Got your mind in the gutter again, KB?
No-one spot the deliberate mistake...?
` Wow, lookit all the new postings!
` ...Oh yeah, my cats... they would probably have a bit to say about this. They are, after all, from space!
They can say all they want (while they're runnin away as bastard cats do).
I've got 20 bucks on the mutts. Hoho!
` Exqueeze me? My cats RUN AFTER DOGS! They also have little ray guns that go 'byew, byew'!
I'm talkin' about REAL dogs, not carpet rats. And at the first sight of Scoob comin' at them, they'd drop their wee ray guns, shit themselves, and scarper (as bastard cats do!)
Plus - cat people are a bit weird (bit like vegetarians).
` That explains something: Both me and my boyfriend are cat people. We are SO WEIRD! MAYBE YOU'RE ONTO SOMETHING!
` Also I'm a vegetarian and also weirder than Lucas. COINCIDENCE?!?!?!
Get shot of the bastard cats. Get a dog - a real dog!
` I can't in this tiny apartment. But you know, they really like going out on the roof and running around.
` Violet is so affectionate and loves to play with EVERYTHING. Vada curls up under my knees when I'm sitting on the floor. They also like to crawl into the shower with me when I'm doing dishes....
` A 'real dog' can't do that!
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