Pastor Benny Hinn. Or rather, Benny Hinn, Ministeries.
I mentioned a while back, the kind of TV I’m offered at 4am on a given morning. Mainly infomercials and Christian TV.
Pastor Benny, as he’s oft referred to in the name of familiarity (so you’ll be more likely to get your money out – but we’ll get to that later…) is the subject of one such program.
I came in from walking the Boys after work and switched on the TV as a matter of course.
Actually I was first presented with Victoria Principal’s…secret…something or other (one of the infomercials). Basically some super cream that reverts the user to her teenage years - least that’s what it sounds like listening to the raft of happy customers paraded on the ad.
So I hopped, 'cause I don't need face cream, 'cause I'm not gay – and happened on Pastor Benny flogging his books, “What God Wants You To Do With Your Money” or God's Plan For Your Money and the ubiquitous “Way to…” brand (…have success, make money, be happy etc.)
And that’s not all. Pastor Benny, it seems, is taking what amounts for all intents and purposes, a world tour. Several dates in the US (obviously), then a few in Europe no less, then over to Indonesia. Go Benny. Sounds awfully familiar. Didn't Gore swan the globe selling his message...?
Now, call me cynical if you want (and if you do I'll tell y'what - you send your 30 bucks...), but our Benny offers us his book free – for only a 30 bucks US “gift” to… not sure, didn’t watch that closely, presumably some “poor person” somewhere.
But in the small print at the end credits of the show (end credits eh – that’s movin' with the times!), in small print buried amongst all the nonsense about the IRS and such, it says something to the effect of… (damn, what was it – an exercise in mental dexterity, recalling the fine print of anything) “Benny Hinn industries reserves the right to use funds for alternative means – not necessarily the advertised charitable organization. Or words to that effect.
Hmmm…ALLEGEDLY (just in case the good Pastor’s in the vicinity and I haven't got it verbatim…)
He had a guest on too, as a matter of fact; a silver-haired boyo, telling us that we were different to the rest, that our desire for wealth came from a higher plane – a just plane
*Good grief, I just hopped again and saw a headline on NBC News which said "God Goes Green". The reporter’s soundbite I heard was informing of a new, 11th commandment.
"Renew, resuse, recycle". What must the Big Man be thinkin'...?
See,,,SEE… I bloody NEW Gore was the Antichrist!*
Anyway, the good Pastor's on again tomorrow morning so I'll have another look. See if this poor sinner can repent.
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11 comments:
Feeeeeeeck.
OMG Benny Hinn is SO EVIL! I see him when I close my eyes at night. HE'S GONNA GET ME!!!
ARRRRGH!
One of his henchmen is gonna drag me off some night and brainwash me! Somebody help meee!!!
P.S. Hoho, I was merely jesting. I've also posted pictures of the mildew, mound of hairs and scum I cleaned up before I could move into my new apartment, among other, more pleasant things like my twin terrors chasing the bastard barking crow.
Wow, that was a long sentence. Heehee. Haha.
***You runnin your anti spyware regularly, See? Had an incident off clickin this comment***
Wow! Hit the Pastor Benny button hoho...
Heh heh - I could believe you weren't jesting...such is your madness, (not that there's anything wrong with that...) Copyright Seinfeld. (I have a real issue about gettin sued for plagiarism).
The Boys went after a cat tonight on their walk heh heh. Had a stee - upid bell round it's neck. Could hear it tinkling as the bastard cat scarpered with the Boys hot on its tail. Haha.
Funny story actually.
` An incident? That's probably because there's a lot of pictures on there.
` That's the problem with bells - the birds can hear the cats, but so can the dogs!
` Sure glad that bastard crow is gone!
Crows are awesome birds. Pretty smart too, apparently.
Watchin' all birds fly amazes me. I once sat in an earth movin' machine and watched this seagull just feet from me riding the stiff breeze. It didn't go back or forward, just slight adjustments as it rose and fell on the air.
Like I said - amazing.
Bastard cats !!
` Truthfully, I love birds too - my pet robin was my first favorite animal - but I really do think you're going overboard when you just slam cats again and again.
` I mean, really, what's so horrible about cats? I've just got done playing fetch with my cat Violet and now she's amusing herself by pawing at her reflection. She also loves trying to climb into my clothing with me and is as affectionate as any dog I've known.
` That's just how Violet behaves. Would you say this behavior is more bastardly than cute? Maybe the cats you've met are bastardly, but mine don't cause trouble.
` Just wondering....
First: Where did you keep this "pet robin"? If your answer includes the word "cage"...stand by for some heavy shit being heaped upon ye.
Second:
Dear Violet fetches because SHE wants to - and no other reason, most assuredly not for you!
They epitomize selfishness, See. Obviously you're too emotionally involved to see it, but that doesn't change the fact.
And they torture their prey - you know this - I've written of it before.
Actually - just go and look at the list again...
P.S. Two dogs were recently awarded medals of bravery for pulling a child from a dam - saving his life. Never in the history of the world has a cat done this. Of course they're not big enough - I know that but it's a moot point anyway. Cats just think of no-one but themselves.
But hey, I wouldn't do them any harm, mind - I love all animals. It's just bastard cats don't have any concept of reciprocation.
` Well, what about my Katie cat? She's dead and everything, but she did warn me that the house was on fire one night and I was able to put it out with a fire extinguisher! She could have just gone out the window and let me die.
` I'm sure cats seem a lot more selfish than dogs, but I think that's because they're more independent.
` Then again, when my Vada is not chasing after her sister she is constantly following me around and sitting next to me. She doesn't do anything else, mind you, just sits next to me, as close as she can without touching me, and purrs.
` The reason for this, I think, is clear; she really hates to be petted. For some reason, physical contact bothers her, so she just sits as close as she can.
` Just because dogs are programmed to lavish their attention on humans does not mean they're considerably less selfish than cats.
` Unless the cats are spoiled brats.
` As for the robin, he got full reign of the house a fair amount of the day and did a lot of clever acrobatics and selective pooping squarely on things he didn't like and scaring people who were already scared of him.
` It was funny to see him dive at grandma's head.
` But at night, he had to go in his cage because we put the shade over it so he was in the dark so he didn't moult all over the place and go bald.
` That was an interesting sentence. Take note that I am drunk.
` But yes, he did have a cage, and it was for his own protection, living in a house with humans and all. We couldn't even let him go outdoors unless he was in his cage, either, because the other birds were Hitchcockian to him.
Have you thought dear Katie might've been thinkin..."better wake the sucker up so she can let me out of this burnin house?"
They don't "seem" - they ARE. What sort of bastard hates to be petted - man or beast in fact?
Dogs are man's best friend - and for good reason. In days of old they, as they do now, defended their master. They have character, you can tell they hear when you talk to them. They want nothing more than your attention.
And just as cats epitomize selfishness, the humble doggie demonstrates loyalty.
It's truly a shame you can't have one, See. They're good for the soul.
The bird:
Hmmm...I wonder are you just trying to head me off at the pass as it were. I know, in 40 years of life, of ONE person who does what you claim. People don't. I understand. Frankly I wouldn't want a bird shittin' all over my house either - therefore I don't have a bird. Problem solved.
But caging them...it's almost like species envy. "If I can't fly, then nor can you". Says all needs to be said about man really.
MFS
1) Katie could have got out of the house without me.
To add to that, I once read a book all about animals that saved owner's lives; many were cats AND dogs. One was a robin!
2) I hate to be touched as well because it's overwhelming to me, but not all the time. Vada, who has issues and I suspect is cat-autistic, is the same way - lots of things scare her that don't bother Violet.
Vada doesn't act like a normal cat, whatever is wrong with her. Right now, she is happy to lounge across my feet, using them as pillows. My point is, even though she doesn't like to be petted, she still hangs around me even if I don't acknowledge her - in fact, sometimes I am surprised to find that she is curled up under my knees or is sitting right beside me and I didn't notice.
Violet, on the other hand, loves to be petted and comes when I call her, like most cats.
3) Why are dogs loyal? Because they're subordinate. But if you spoil a dog, it becomes the alpha and is not cute and cuddly and doesn't give a damn about you.
` If it sees you eating, it believes it is entitled, and if it curls up in YOUR favorite chair, it will growl at you when you come to sit down.
` The reason dogs are usually so loyal is because they consider humans to be more important than they are - as they do with the alpha male and female of a wild dog (or wolf, etc.) pack. But the alpha male and female got to that position because they're big bullies.
` So, dogs can be either way. And you know, that means your dogs are so affectionate and loyal to you because they're submissive. An alpha dog would NEVER lick your face or lie on its back so you could pet its belly, nor listen to you, because it would expect you to do what it says, not the other way around.
4) Amen!! That's exactly what I think - birds are meant to fly, and if you can't do that, you shouldn't have a bird! Why would anyone not let a bird out of its cage?
I always did - in fact there were other wild birds that fell out of their nests that we raised, though in order to let them out of their cages, the robin had to be locked up because he'd divebomb them! But we made sure they all got to do what they wanted.
I always assumed that people let their birds out of their cages, as with people I knew who had parrots and parakeets.
But then I was utterly shocked when my friend told me he never let his canary out of its cage, other than to trim its nails. I couldn't convince him to, either, because he was so afraid it would fly into the window and break its neck!
` Some people....
Just read that a U.S school is taking up cricket--can the americans leave nothing,no-one and nowhere alone!!!
I've just read that a U.S. school is taking up cricket. Can the americans leave nothing.no-one and nowhere alone???????????
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