According to the Sunday edition of the Daily Rag.
Second on the list is the Antichrist, aka Al Gore, aka the Shyster, aka the nearly President who desperate for some sort of fame made a film full of propaganda and inaccuracies with the intent of scaring the stupid into buying smaller cars and recycling their plastic.
To reiterate: global warming ISN'T a figment of our imagination but the suggestion that we burning less coal, recycling plastic bottles, using less water and the plethora of other suggestions to turn back the tide - IS!
There is no question that we humans are...well, bad, for the planet and as we reach new discoveries with regard to extending the our average lifespan and new ways of producing offspring from the most barren of wombs, the plague that is human life will just become more severe.
And as in any species there is a finite amount of any species that can exist in any given amount of space.
Of course, with our all encompassing intelligence we have been able to circumvent most of nature's 'checks and balances' as it were, but worry not - this cannot go on forever - and it won't.
For everything under the sun, there is a price to be paid.
In a previous post I alluded to a quote from a scientist in Britain who said that we were, 'living a 3 planet existence' quote unquote. Simply meaning that the rate of which we were using the earth's natural resources would take 3 like-sized planets to sustain.
It's inevitable those resources will run out - blind Freddie can see that. What then? Do we make cars illegal? Trains? Boats, planes, air conditioners?
Back to the horse and cart? Gosh, how will I survive without a motorbike? Oh no!
Wonder how the Antichrist will manage with a horse and cart. Most likely he'll have one with footmen and driver, security guards and gold laid upholstery. (Just so he can protect his money he'd previously spirited away from the stupid).
Anyway, for the normal people who actually WORK for a living, we're all off to said employment.
Sunday, December 30, 2007
Saturday, December 29, 2007
CASE IN POINT...
Some time ago I wrote a piece (God, it sounds so...uppity - like I'm an actual writer rather than some Joe just jotting down his thoughts) regarding sunshine and it's benefits/risks. The effects of too much of it - specifically skin cancer (which it has to be said is apparently at its highest rate here in OZ due to the famed 'hole' in the atmosphere) has been well documented. 'Stay out of the sun', they cautioned. 'Or use a strong UV cream'.
Well the general populous immediately ran out to the shops and purchased all the (about 500 UV) sun cream they could find (which is so protective it renders the recipient whiter than they began...).
It now transpires that the experts' words were taken a little too literally as many people (read, morons) and their poor children who don't have a say are now presenting at doctors with the symptoms of vitamin D deficiency.
Vitamin D is received in spades from the sun's rays. And word is just 15 minutes a day provides all the vitamin D a person requires. I myself have never been a 'worshipper' as such and have never been interested in lying on the beach like some sort of...well, wanker actually. Half naked women - good; half naked men - bad.
I've been saying for years now that the total blocking of these rays is a bad idea. I think in my 'piece' I wrote of my Ma (and all other Mas of that generation) telling me and the respective children to, "go out and get some sun on your legs'.
People aren't encouraged to do so anymore and because they're that thick they'll believe whatever the 'experts' tell them.
Tch! Experts indeed. Go and get a real bloody job y'wasters!
Me? I'm goin out in the sun - with my smokes!
Well the general populous immediately ran out to the shops and purchased all the (about 500 UV) sun cream they could find (which is so protective it renders the recipient whiter than they began...).
It now transpires that the experts' words were taken a little too literally as many people (read, morons) and their poor children who don't have a say are now presenting at doctors with the symptoms of vitamin D deficiency.
Vitamin D is received in spades from the sun's rays. And word is just 15 minutes a day provides all the vitamin D a person requires. I myself have never been a 'worshipper' as such and have never been interested in lying on the beach like some sort of...well, wanker actually. Half naked women - good; half naked men - bad.
I've been saying for years now that the total blocking of these rays is a bad idea. I think in my 'piece' I wrote of my Ma (and all other Mas of that generation) telling me and the respective children to, "go out and get some sun on your legs'.
People aren't encouraged to do so anymore and because they're that thick they'll believe whatever the 'experts' tell them.
Tch! Experts indeed. Go and get a real bloody job y'wasters!
Me? I'm goin out in the sun - with my smokes!
Monday, December 24, 2007
MERRY... CHRISTMAS/ XMAS/ HOLIDAY/ DAY THAT'S KINDA SPECIAL BUT CAN'T BE OPENLY DISCUSSED
Christmas time again. Phew! Where'd the year go? Wasn't it Christmas yesterday?
Anyway, another week and it'll all be over for another year. As I write, I still haven't secured a home. I was close three times (or so I thought) but for a variety of reasons it fell through so here I am, in my spot. Quite a nice spot actually - with peace and quiet I've been unable to find without paying half a mil or travelling a million hours from my work.
But LICS as they say (well, as I say at least...)
A matter of some concern to me is the pay TV provider, Austar, who, seemingly unaware (or simply uncaring) of the season have 'set the dogs on me'. The dogs in this case are the fine people of a debt collection agency with the help of their vicious lawyers.
They have threatened my credit rating; a rating it has to be said I've literally starved to protect. Now some corporate scum is trying to smear it. Well, not without a fight.
To reiterate my case:-
I became homeless. I told Austar that despite not having a TV and therefore being unable to actually watch their programs, I was still prepared to pay the monthly charge until such times I found accommodation. Then, when I DID find somewhere, I would just simply place a call and they could reconnect me over the phone at the enormous cost of...well, nothing to them, and probably 3-5 minutes on the phone for me (which comprises a woman telling me that my call is important to her and that I'm next in the queue, coupled with some 'trolley music' to further torture me!)
Nope - not good enough for Austar. It seems that I MUST actually watch TV or else they'll disconnect. Does that mean I have to video myself watching TV with time/date code?
I tell them - "I have no TV...because I have no home, so I can't actually watch your channels". I remind them again, "Because I have no home - i.e. I'm homeless". At the same time I'm staggered at their refusal to understand. Again I tell them, "Still, regardless of my current living arrangements, I'm willing to pay the monthly amount. You'll still get your money - what's the problem here?"
They simply refused to discuss it and handed alleged debt to their collectors who as I say, set their lawyers on me,
I, in turn, have contacted three consumer advocacy agencies with my ace in the pack being my homelessness (Austar or their denizens can't find me).
Don't know how this is going to play but one thing is certain, I will fight this to the end on behalf of all who have been fucked over by the corporate world.
Anyway, another week and it'll all be over for another year. As I write, I still haven't secured a home. I was close three times (or so I thought) but for a variety of reasons it fell through so here I am, in my spot. Quite a nice spot actually - with peace and quiet I've been unable to find without paying half a mil or travelling a million hours from my work.
But LICS as they say (well, as I say at least...)
A matter of some concern to me is the pay TV provider, Austar, who, seemingly unaware (or simply uncaring) of the season have 'set the dogs on me'. The dogs in this case are the fine people of a debt collection agency with the help of their vicious lawyers.
They have threatened my credit rating; a rating it has to be said I've literally starved to protect. Now some corporate scum is trying to smear it. Well, not without a fight.
To reiterate my case:-
I became homeless. I told Austar that despite not having a TV and therefore being unable to actually watch their programs, I was still prepared to pay the monthly charge until such times I found accommodation. Then, when I DID find somewhere, I would just simply place a call and they could reconnect me over the phone at the enormous cost of...well, nothing to them, and probably 3-5 minutes on the phone for me (which comprises a woman telling me that my call is important to her and that I'm next in the queue, coupled with some 'trolley music' to further torture me!)
Nope - not good enough for Austar. It seems that I MUST actually watch TV or else they'll disconnect. Does that mean I have to video myself watching TV with time/date code?
I tell them - "I have no TV...because I have no home, so I can't actually watch your channels". I remind them again, "Because I have no home - i.e. I'm homeless". At the same time I'm staggered at their refusal to understand. Again I tell them, "Still, regardless of my current living arrangements, I'm willing to pay the monthly amount. You'll still get your money - what's the problem here?"
They simply refused to discuss it and handed alleged debt to their collectors who as I say, set their lawyers on me,
I, in turn, have contacted three consumer advocacy agencies with my ace in the pack being my homelessness (Austar or their denizens can't find me).
Don't know how this is going to play but one thing is certain, I will fight this to the end on behalf of all who have been fucked over by the corporate world.
Sunday, December 09, 2007
JOKE OF THE WEEK
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
MAN WALKS INTO A BAR WITH A STEERING WHEEL DOWN THE FRONT OF HIS TROUSERS.
BARMAN POINTS AT LUMP AND ASKS: "HOW ARE YOU, BUDDY, ISN'T THAT UNCOMFORTABLE?"
"YEAH", THE MAN REPLIES, "IT'S DRIVING ME NUTS!"
***************************************************************************************
MAN WALKS INTO A BAR WITH A STEERING WHEEL DOWN THE FRONT OF HIS TROUSERS.
BARMAN POINTS AT LUMP AND ASKS: "HOW ARE YOU, BUDDY, ISN'T THAT UNCOMFORTABLE?"
"YEAH", THE MAN REPLIES, "IT'S DRIVING ME NUTS!"
***************************************************************************************
Wednesday, December 05, 2007
WARMING SHWARMING
A report on the television news told of some Pacific Islander types complaining that sea rises are overwhelming their homes. Accompaning the report was footage of waves breaking around the floor of the homes (read huts with palm fronds). They claim it's as a`result of global warming (How the hell Gore the Antichrist got to them I'll never know. One of them must have acquired a TV from somewhere...).
So far, a couple of sentences into this piece, you'd be excused for thinking fair enough and having empathy for the poor Islanders.
That is until you read on:
These indigenents of the beautiful islands in the South Pacific, typically live on the beach. I don't mean near the beach or in close proximity to the beach, no - I mean ON the beach - right there on the sand, their gardens just behind on the small soil shelf.
Something as simple and innocent as a freak high tide would have the same effect.
Well look PI's, you choose to live there - in a place many Westerners pay several month's earnings just visit. You probably exist in an environment free of terror, one where you just tend your garden and potter about til your heart's content.
But nevertheless, it's still on a beach and as such carries the risk of such high tides so I'm afraid you lose all rights to appeal to the western world for help.
What, you want me to replace your palm frond hut with an air conditioned home on higher ground? I don't think so.
So far, a couple of sentences into this piece, you'd be excused for thinking fair enough and having empathy for the poor Islanders.
That is until you read on:
These indigenents of the beautiful islands in the South Pacific, typically live on the beach. I don't mean near the beach or in close proximity to the beach, no - I mean ON the beach - right there on the sand, their gardens just behind on the small soil shelf.
Something as simple and innocent as a freak high tide would have the same effect.
Well look PI's, you choose to live there - in a place many Westerners pay several month's earnings just visit. You probably exist in an environment free of terror, one where you just tend your garden and potter about til your heart's content.
But nevertheless, it's still on a beach and as such carries the risk of such high tides so I'm afraid you lose all rights to appeal to the western world for help.
What, you want me to replace your palm frond hut with an air conditioned home on higher ground? I don't think so.
I wrote about the spate of vicious glassings (are they ever anything else...?) that have been in the news lately a while back.
No need to cover old ground except to say that the head-shaking and tut-tutting from the media was all encompassing. And rightly so, I'd have to say (though my opinion isn't motivated by the desire to sell more copy...).
What typically follows such demonstrations of dismay, is the plea - "What can we do to stop this?"
And all measures of control are discussed, from shutting bars completely to shutting them early in a (vain they'll discover) attempt to curb this almost primal of attacks on a usually unsuspecting victim.
You want to stop this? Well, you can't, frankly. There are of course ways of reducing it but that relies on people drinking less and people won't - period.
Especially when the demon liquor is virtually given away.
Take the advertisement for a large supermarket in Australia. With that time of year again fast approaching, the market has pulled out the usual stops of advertising alcohol and ridiculously low prices. The ad I saw was offering 24 cans of beer for 40 bucks - $20 off. And the choices...wow, such a variey both local and imported - Hahn, Crownies, Pure Blonde, The ever-present VB, Bud, Tooheys (New and Old), Heineken... the list goes on and on!
That's thirty percent. Reducing the price to just over half. Where else would you get such a gift? Imagine for example going into a car dealers and getting 5000 off a 15,000 dollar car. It just wouldn't happen Nor with whitegoods, furniture, TVs - unless it's from the benevolence of the jolly, fat man in the red suit.
But because it's the piss in Australia, they're almost giving it away.
Yeah...I'm wringing my hands too. Boohoo, how can we stop this?
Meantime, with shaking heads and tut-tutting voices, the hands continue to be wrung, offenders are incarcerated and life returns to normal...but with the unfortunate victim missing an eye!
No need to cover old ground except to say that the head-shaking and tut-tutting from the media was all encompassing. And rightly so, I'd have to say (though my opinion isn't motivated by the desire to sell more copy...).
What typically follows such demonstrations of dismay, is the plea - "What can we do to stop this?"
And all measures of control are discussed, from shutting bars completely to shutting them early in a (vain they'll discover) attempt to curb this almost primal of attacks on a usually unsuspecting victim.
You want to stop this? Well, you can't, frankly. There are of course ways of reducing it but that relies on people drinking less and people won't - period.
Especially when the demon liquor is virtually given away.
Take the advertisement for a large supermarket in Australia. With that time of year again fast approaching, the market has pulled out the usual stops of advertising alcohol and ridiculously low prices. The ad I saw was offering 24 cans of beer for 40 bucks - $20 off. And the choices...wow, such a variey both local and imported - Hahn, Crownies, Pure Blonde, The ever-present VB, Bud, Tooheys (New and Old), Heineken... the list goes on and on!
That's thirty percent. Reducing the price to just over half. Where else would you get such a gift? Imagine for example going into a car dealers and getting 5000 off a 15,000 dollar car. It just wouldn't happen Nor with whitegoods, furniture, TVs - unless it's from the benevolence of the jolly, fat man in the red suit.
But because it's the piss in Australia, they're almost giving it away.
Yeah...I'm wringing my hands too. Boohoo, how can we stop this?
Meantime, with shaking heads and tut-tutting voices, the hands continue to be wrung, offenders are incarcerated and life returns to normal...but with the unfortunate victim missing an eye!
DAVID AND GOLIATH
Otherwise known as Austar television.
Dear Mr Austar,
You have been sending me a bill for 250 bucks for months on end now claiming it to be a cancellation fee. I didn't ask for my service to be cancelled and have repeatedly informed you that I was happy to keep paying the monthly amount until I secured new accommodation (you are well aware of my current situation).
But that wasn't enough for you. It would seem that despite my willingness to keep paying the amount whilst searching for a new home, you have decided that because I'm not actually watching television (because I've no fucking house y'pricks!) I have to pay a cancellation fee. Well, fuck that!
I am well aware of the need for such a fee. Austar needs to protect itself from a customer asking you to come out, set up the dish, provide the set top box, remote etc, only for a month later say - "aw, I don't want it now". I completely understand that you need to cover yourself from this.
However, I have been an Austar customer for 7 years, during which time I have paid to Austar the sum of 5,600 dollars (mainly for 3 channels I actually watch, and about 30 I don't - food channel, kids channel, diy channel etc.) You don't need to 'cover' yourselves. 5,600 dollars would cover you like a mf!
And now you have the nerve to demand 250 dollars for a cancellation fee while I struggle to find a home in this expensive market that is Sydney. Moreover, you have 'set the dogs on me' in the form of a debt collection agency!
Well, pay close attention to this for I'll say it only once:-
YOU CAN HAND THE UNJUSTIFIED DEBT TO AS MANY DEBT COLLECTORS AS YOU WANT. I WILL NOT BE PAYING EITHER THEM OR YOU. YOU MAY CONSIDER OUR RELATIONSHIP PERMANENTLY OVER AND CAN SHOVE YOUR 250 BUCKS UP YOUR FUCKING ARSE!!! FURTHERMORE, I WILL NEVER USE AUSTAR TELEVISION AGAIN AND WILL DO EVERYTHING IN MY POWER TO DISSUADE OTHERS FROM DOING SO ALSO. YOU PEOPLE ARE GOING TO LEARN YOU CAN'T JUST TREAT YOUR CUSTOMERS LIKE THIS.
Dear Mr Austar,
You have been sending me a bill for 250 bucks for months on end now claiming it to be a cancellation fee. I didn't ask for my service to be cancelled and have repeatedly informed you that I was happy to keep paying the monthly amount until I secured new accommodation (you are well aware of my current situation).
But that wasn't enough for you. It would seem that despite my willingness to keep paying the amount whilst searching for a new home, you have decided that because I'm not actually watching television (because I've no fucking house y'pricks!) I have to pay a cancellation fee. Well, fuck that!
I am well aware of the need for such a fee. Austar needs to protect itself from a customer asking you to come out, set up the dish, provide the set top box, remote etc, only for a month later say - "aw, I don't want it now". I completely understand that you need to cover yourself from this.
However, I have been an Austar customer for 7 years, during which time I have paid to Austar the sum of 5,600 dollars (mainly for 3 channels I actually watch, and about 30 I don't - food channel, kids channel, diy channel etc.) You don't need to 'cover' yourselves. 5,600 dollars would cover you like a mf!
And now you have the nerve to demand 250 dollars for a cancellation fee while I struggle to find a home in this expensive market that is Sydney. Moreover, you have 'set the dogs on me' in the form of a debt collection agency!
Well, pay close attention to this for I'll say it only once:-
YOU CAN HAND THE UNJUSTIFIED DEBT TO AS MANY DEBT COLLECTORS AS YOU WANT. I WILL NOT BE PAYING EITHER THEM OR YOU. YOU MAY CONSIDER OUR RELATIONSHIP PERMANENTLY OVER AND CAN SHOVE YOUR 250 BUCKS UP YOUR FUCKING ARSE!!! FURTHERMORE, I WILL NEVER USE AUSTAR TELEVISION AGAIN AND WILL DO EVERYTHING IN MY POWER TO DISSUADE OTHERS FROM DOING SO ALSO. YOU PEOPLE ARE GOING TO LEARN YOU CAN'T JUST TREAT YOUR CUSTOMERS LIKE THIS.
Monday, December 03, 2007
UPDATE
Well, it's now the fourth month I've been living out of the back of my ute. Four months of searching for a new home without success so far.
I'm having to seriously consider once again renting; only thing is my two boys. Apparently they are a problem for some. As soon as they hear the term "two Border Collies" they get very defensive and completely shut down.
I would like to know exactly what it is these wankers think my boys are going to do to their precious house. Do they think they're going to shit all over the place; bark into the wee hours of the morning? What? Explain to me what it is that worries you so.
Well I consider it a personal affront to me - no less so than if you insulted my children and my response is this:- (Ma, if you're reading this, look away)
YOU CAN TAKE YOUR POXY HOUSE AND SHOVE IT - RIGHT UP YOUR FUCKIN ARSE - SIDEWAYS. I'LL EVEN LEND A BOOT TO MAKE SURE IT GETS WORKED RIGHT UP THERE!!!
I'm having to seriously consider once again renting; only thing is my two boys. Apparently they are a problem for some. As soon as they hear the term "two Border Collies" they get very defensive and completely shut down.
I would like to know exactly what it is these wankers think my boys are going to do to their precious house. Do they think they're going to shit all over the place; bark into the wee hours of the morning? What? Explain to me what it is that worries you so.
Well I consider it a personal affront to me - no less so than if you insulted my children and my response is this:- (Ma, if you're reading this, look away)
YOU CAN TAKE YOUR POXY HOUSE AND SHOVE IT - RIGHT UP YOUR FUCKIN ARSE - SIDEWAYS. I'LL EVEN LEND A BOOT TO MAKE SURE IT GETS WORKED RIGHT UP THERE!!!
Saturday, December 01, 2007
WHAT MORE DOES A MAN NEED...
MITSUBISHI TURBO DIESEL 4X4 UTE (RESPLENDENT WITH A BIG DENT - GOD, I'M SUCH A DICKHEAD!)
YAMAHA WR 426 ENDURO
AND MY BOYS.
Thursday, November 29, 2007
THE BECKHAM ROADSHOW
Good ole 'golden balls', as he's oft referred to by his wife, the ex-Spice girl, Victoria Beckham, is in Sydney.
He came with his football team, LA Galaxy, the team who've paid an enormous 250 million dollars over three years for the services of the aforementioned footballer.
The man is arguably a whole industry in himself with his multi million dollar sponorship deals with Adidas, Rolex and countless other brands whose pockets know no depth to have the man advertise their product. (Word is he's being courted to sell sand to the Arabs...).
Anyway, clotheshorse aside, he's here for a football game - an exhibition match between his team, LA Galaxy, and Sydney FC. It's been joked that the game is actually between Sydney FC and David Beckham, hoho, such is the excitement over the superstars imminent arrival.
The game was played live on free to air Channel Ten (which interestingly, is more than can be said for the recent rugby world cup which had all but the semis and final, excepting the Australian games, delayed..!)
And as a testament to the man's pulling power, consider the following:-
Football is almost an underground sport here in Oz and Sydney FC's last game against Queensland Roar (far out - such monikers!) drew a crowd of 8 thousand or so.
Ticket sales for this game have exceeded EIGHTY thousand, and probably 70,000 or so are there just to see David Beckham. Hilariously, in a play on words of the film, Bend it like Beckham, two young fillies held aloft a placard on which was written - "Bend Me Beckham". Hoho, you go girls, don't hold back (where's my Beckham mask?)
(Even yours truly is writing about it right here on this humble blog-type thing).
The talk was all about whether Beckham would score; whether he would even play the full 90 minutes (a reference to his unfortunate injury streak since joining the Italian superteam, before he went to America). Well, score he did, in the most stylish of ways, in an almost trademark fashion from a free kick. Over the wall of men it flew and curved beautifully to escape the keepers stretched arms.
The spectators went ballistic.
Sydney FC won the game in the end 5-3 but the general concensus was that the event (which due to Beckham's involvement, was what it had become) was a huge success and the word is that interest in the round ball sport could be exploited and developed purely on the back of this game.
As for David, well, reports are that he has conducted himself impeccably, going as far to visit (on the sly) a young fan, afflicted with cancer. He has been gracious and appreciative of his position when appearing in public and has insisted, despite being able to afford, and assumed he would do so, fivestar hotels etc. on staying with his teammates in...lesser accommodation.
For my part, I have always liked the man, and have never been an exponent of the kind of patronizing insults that have so been a part of his life from the jealous and envious.
Such spite-filled persons, whose vitriol is quite obviously borne out of a deep-seated envy and personal shame that they can't reach such heights themselves, make a living out of cutting down (or attempting to) those who did indeed rise above the ordinary.
David Beckham is one such man. He is married, seemingly in love with his wife, dotes on his children, and just happens to be one of the best footballers in current play - as evidenced by the trademark free kick finding the back of the net.
A true champion is he and I wish him all the success he can handle.
He came with his football team, LA Galaxy, the team who've paid an enormous 250 million dollars over three years for the services of the aforementioned footballer.
The man is arguably a whole industry in himself with his multi million dollar sponorship deals with Adidas, Rolex and countless other brands whose pockets know no depth to have the man advertise their product. (Word is he's being courted to sell sand to the Arabs...).
Anyway, clotheshorse aside, he's here for a football game - an exhibition match between his team, LA Galaxy, and Sydney FC. It's been joked that the game is actually between Sydney FC and David Beckham, hoho, such is the excitement over the superstars imminent arrival.
The game was played live on free to air Channel Ten (which interestingly, is more than can be said for the recent rugby world cup which had all but the semis and final, excepting the Australian games, delayed..!)
And as a testament to the man's pulling power, consider the following:-
Football is almost an underground sport here in Oz and Sydney FC's last game against Queensland Roar (far out - such monikers!) drew a crowd of 8 thousand or so.
Ticket sales for this game have exceeded EIGHTY thousand, and probably 70,000 or so are there just to see David Beckham. Hilariously, in a play on words of the film, Bend it like Beckham, two young fillies held aloft a placard on which was written - "Bend Me Beckham". Hoho, you go girls, don't hold back (where's my Beckham mask?)
(Even yours truly is writing about it right here on this humble blog-type thing).
The talk was all about whether Beckham would score; whether he would even play the full 90 minutes (a reference to his unfortunate injury streak since joining the Italian superteam, before he went to America). Well, score he did, in the most stylish of ways, in an almost trademark fashion from a free kick. Over the wall of men it flew and curved beautifully to escape the keepers stretched arms.
The spectators went ballistic.
Sydney FC won the game in the end 5-3 but the general concensus was that the event (which due to Beckham's involvement, was what it had become) was a huge success and the word is that interest in the round ball sport could be exploited and developed purely on the back of this game.
As for David, well, reports are that he has conducted himself impeccably, going as far to visit (on the sly) a young fan, afflicted with cancer. He has been gracious and appreciative of his position when appearing in public and has insisted, despite being able to afford, and assumed he would do so, fivestar hotels etc. on staying with his teammates in...lesser accommodation.
For my part, I have always liked the man, and have never been an exponent of the kind of patronizing insults that have so been a part of his life from the jealous and envious.
Such spite-filled persons, whose vitriol is quite obviously borne out of a deep-seated envy and personal shame that they can't reach such heights themselves, make a living out of cutting down (or attempting to) those who did indeed rise above the ordinary.
David Beckham is one such man. He is married, seemingly in love with his wife, dotes on his children, and just happens to be one of the best footballers in current play - as evidenced by the trademark free kick finding the back of the net.
A true champion is he and I wish him all the success he can handle.
Saturday, November 17, 2007
WR 426
Well, I've gone and done it. I tried, I tried so very hard to resist but it wouldn't be denied.
Muttars' new bike - a 2001 Yamaha WR 426! The fun to be had on this is verging on impossible to quantify.
Thursday, November 15, 2007
PRICK CLUB AT IT AGAIN
Otherwise known as the PC lobby. They have decided that Santa, that most benign of givers should no longer be allowed to say ho ho ho.
They claim that it's too close to the American slang for whores. (See, yet another victim of America's bastardization of the language!)
So, the lobby in all their wisdom suggests Santa now says ha ha ha because it's...safer, less chance of misunderstanding. Several would-be Santas have left Santa school in disgust - good on them!
It's hard to believe actually that such an innocent phrase can be turned into an insult.
Well, screw you, PC arseholes!
HO....HO...HO!!!
They claim that it's too close to the American slang for whores. (See, yet another victim of America's bastardization of the language!)
So, the lobby in all their wisdom suggests Santa now says ha ha ha because it's...safer, less chance of misunderstanding. Several would-be Santas have left Santa school in disgust - good on them!
It's hard to believe actually that such an innocent phrase can be turned into an insult.
Well, screw you, PC arseholes!
HO....HO...HO!!!
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
The following is a transcript of a conversation yours truly had with a work colleague recently (we'll call him Kev). Be advised, said colleague is a truck driver so the language is...colourful!
Voting is compulsory in Oz - to not vote brings a fine.
ME: "So, Kev, any ideas on who you're votin for?"
KEV: "I don't vote, mate".
ME: "Isn't it illegal not to vote here?"
KEV: "Yeah, it is".
ME: "So how'd yget round it"?
KEV: "Well, when I was 18 I went to the voting booth with me ma and asked her was my name on the electoral roll. She said it was. I said - "screw it - I'm not voting, and went back home".
ME: "Y'get a fine?"
KEV: "About 2 weeks later a fine for 50 bucks came in the mail, so I wrote on the fine slip - 'fuck off, I don't vote for liars', and sent it back. About 2 weeks later I got another fine for 50 bucks so I wrote on it - 'what, are you slow learners, I told you to fuck off I don't vote for liars".
I'm having quite a chuckle at this because I love stickin it to the man.
ME: "So what happened next?"
KEV: "Well, about another 2 weeks after that someone from the office called me on the phone. And I told them pretty much what I had written. I said, 'look, these cunts make all sorts of promises that they never have any intention of keeping. They lie like fuck just to get elected then renege on everything they've promised. Like I said, I don't vote for liars, so you can shove your fuckin fine up yer arse!'
I'm full on laughing at this point and in my mirth I ask -
ME: "What'd they do?"
KEV: "They hung up on me!" Several weeks later I got a letter informing me I'd been struck of the electoral roll! I haven't voted since"
Kev, mate, my opinion of you has just increased tenfold, buddy! Hoho. There's nothing quite like telling a bureaucrat to shove somethin up their arse.
Voting is compulsory in Oz - to not vote brings a fine.
ME: "So, Kev, any ideas on who you're votin for?"
KEV: "I don't vote, mate".
ME: "Isn't it illegal not to vote here?"
KEV: "Yeah, it is".
ME: "So how'd yget round it"?
KEV: "Well, when I was 18 I went to the voting booth with me ma and asked her was my name on the electoral roll. She said it was. I said - "screw it - I'm not voting, and went back home".
ME: "Y'get a fine?"
KEV: "About 2 weeks later a fine for 50 bucks came in the mail, so I wrote on the fine slip - 'fuck off, I don't vote for liars', and sent it back. About 2 weeks later I got another fine for 50 bucks so I wrote on it - 'what, are you slow learners, I told you to fuck off I don't vote for liars".
I'm having quite a chuckle at this because I love stickin it to the man.
ME: "So what happened next?"
KEV: "Well, about another 2 weeks after that someone from the office called me on the phone. And I told them pretty much what I had written. I said, 'look, these cunts make all sorts of promises that they never have any intention of keeping. They lie like fuck just to get elected then renege on everything they've promised. Like I said, I don't vote for liars, so you can shove your fuckin fine up yer arse!'
I'm full on laughing at this point and in my mirth I ask -
ME: "What'd they do?"
KEV: "They hung up on me!" Several weeks later I got a letter informing me I'd been struck of the electoral roll! I haven't voted since"
Kev, mate, my opinion of you has just increased tenfold, buddy! Hoho. There's nothing quite like telling a bureaucrat to shove somethin up their arse.
Monday, November 12, 2007
SUCKER CONVENTION
As reported in the Daily Rag:
"Large crowds are expected to march today in a nationwide 'Walk Against Warming'. Participants in more than 50 cities and towns will call on political parties to act on climate change..."
It goes on:
"Sydney's CBD will also host the biggest public rally of the election campaign with the walk from the Domain to draw more than 80,000 people".
80,000+ muppets. Prize fodder for Mohammed the used car salesman.
I have a question for these idiots and it's this. How much CO2 are 80,000 plus people putting into the atmosphere as you wind your merry way through the city (no doubt stuffing your faces with all kinds of food and leaving a filthy mess in your wake)? Or are you secure in your knowledge that you've pre-purchased your carbon credits? And therefore can pollute like buggery?
Just like your King, His Majesty, Al Gore. (Picture me bowing with a smirk here).
I will refer you to the post entitled "Have we really done it?" That is the truth; it is irrefutable. To believe otherwise just confirms my suspicions that Joe Public is indeed, an idiot.
Now, if I can just find a way to exploit and manipulate them as the big end of town do, then I'll be set!
Walk for Warming indeed. LMMFAO.
I propose a Walk for Muttars, or a Walk for Looser-Fitting Underwear, or a Walk for People who just like Walking!
"Large crowds are expected to march today in a nationwide 'Walk Against Warming'. Participants in more than 50 cities and towns will call on political parties to act on climate change..."
It goes on:
"Sydney's CBD will also host the biggest public rally of the election campaign with the walk from the Domain to draw more than 80,000 people".
80,000+ muppets. Prize fodder for Mohammed the used car salesman.
I have a question for these idiots and it's this. How much CO2 are 80,000 plus people putting into the atmosphere as you wind your merry way through the city (no doubt stuffing your faces with all kinds of food and leaving a filthy mess in your wake)? Or are you secure in your knowledge that you've pre-purchased your carbon credits? And therefore can pollute like buggery?
Just like your King, His Majesty, Al Gore. (Picture me bowing with a smirk here).
I will refer you to the post entitled "Have we really done it?" That is the truth; it is irrefutable. To believe otherwise just confirms my suspicions that Joe Public is indeed, an idiot.
Now, if I can just find a way to exploit and manipulate them as the big end of town do, then I'll be set!
Walk for Warming indeed. LMMFAO.
I propose a Walk for Muttars, or a Walk for Looser-Fitting Underwear, or a Walk for People who just like Walking!
NIL DESPERANDUM
Or - don't panic. That's the message from that fuckwit of fuckwits, our glorious Premier, Morris Iemma.
Yep, good ole Einstein has deemed that in the event of a terrorist attack, we should all immediately go to the goverment website recently created to advise of our next steps.
Alrighty, knucklehead. Next time I find myself in the midst of a terrorist attack, I'll whip out the laptop (providing I have it with me - and that it's charged - and that the battery, though charged, will hold the charge long enough to connect), I'll go to your website and I'll follow the instructions, one of which I'm sure will be - "in the event of a terrorist attack, immediately move in the OPPOSITE direction".
Cheers Morris -fantastic idea. I'll just sit amid the chaos and web surf.
Man, you're such a fucking twat!!
Yep, good ole Einstein has deemed that in the event of a terrorist attack, we should all immediately go to the goverment website recently created to advise of our next steps.
Alrighty, knucklehead. Next time I find myself in the midst of a terrorist attack, I'll whip out the laptop (providing I have it with me - and that it's charged - and that the battery, though charged, will hold the charge long enough to connect), I'll go to your website and I'll follow the instructions, one of which I'm sure will be - "in the event of a terrorist attack, immediately move in the OPPOSITE direction".
Cheers Morris -fantastic idea. I'll just sit amid the chaos and web surf.
Man, you're such a fucking twat!!
LOOK OUT FATTIES
Because the airlines have set their sights on you. It seems that if you're too fat, you're going to attract a 'fat tax'; similar to the extra payment one has to pay if one exceeds weight limits for baggage.
Matter of fact, Jetstar, Qantas's younger sibling as it were, has installed bigger seats in some of their aircraft to accommodate the more portly among us. The report I heard didn't elucidate whether said seats carried a higher charge but in this world of constant grab for money, I'd be very surprised if it didn't
Is it justified?
Is it discrimination?
Depends on to whom you speak. Theoretically, it seems...well, fair, really. I mean, aircraft need fuel; extra weight uses more fuel therefore one would think then, that as mentioned, if the weight limit is exceeded, regardless of how the limit is breached, an extra charge is indeed justified.
But many have come out screaming discrimination. I can understand that, being as I am, in the most viciously discriminated against group of citizens on earth - the downtrodden and put-upon smoker (aka the modern leper).
But mind you, if you've ever sat beside a really fat person on an aircraft (or bus, or train - which have a similar amount of room in their seats) you can no doubt understand as the rolls of obesity spill over every edge like escaped dough. Some even take up 2 or more seats so...why shouldn't they pay for 2 or more seats then...?
Hmmm...it's going to happen regardless of objection. If you have a problem with it, get your fat arse off the sofa and lose some of the excess then it won't be an issue - simple.
Matter of fact, Jetstar, Qantas's younger sibling as it were, has installed bigger seats in some of their aircraft to accommodate the more portly among us. The report I heard didn't elucidate whether said seats carried a higher charge but in this world of constant grab for money, I'd be very surprised if it didn't
Is it justified?
Is it discrimination?
Depends on to whom you speak. Theoretically, it seems...well, fair, really. I mean, aircraft need fuel; extra weight uses more fuel therefore one would think then, that as mentioned, if the weight limit is exceeded, regardless of how the limit is breached, an extra charge is indeed justified.
But many have come out screaming discrimination. I can understand that, being as I am, in the most viciously discriminated against group of citizens on earth - the downtrodden and put-upon smoker (aka the modern leper).
But mind you, if you've ever sat beside a really fat person on an aircraft (or bus, or train - which have a similar amount of room in their seats) you can no doubt understand as the rolls of obesity spill over every edge like escaped dough. Some even take up 2 or more seats so...why shouldn't they pay for 2 or more seats then...?
Hmmm...it's going to happen regardless of objection. If you have a problem with it, get your fat arse off the sofa and lose some of the excess then it won't be an issue - simple.
Sunday, November 11, 2007
GLASSINGS
There has been a spate of these vicious attacks around old Sydney town of late. One of which involved two women. The unfortunate victim in this case was a pretty 22 year old. Why the author of the article felt the need to mention 'pretty' is a bit of a worry; are we to think that ugly people are less deserved of our sympathy?
(IN fact, it's all about tweaking peoples heartstrings in order to sell papers - that's the ultimate tragedy...)
So, the concerned parties have all, almost as a single voice, called for the glass glasses to be replaced with plastic ones to prevent further attacks. Good idea actually and will certainly prevent any more disfigurement. We'll leave the various other implements found in the average bar that could be used as weapons for another time (think bottles, shorts glasses, chairs etc).
The experienced and long time drinkers aren't happy about this suggestion, claiming that the beer doesn't taste the same out of plastic as it does glass. Though not a hardened drinker, I would tend to agree. But what's the alternative. Well, obviously, if we could somehow control the drunks in society...but especially in this Australian society, where to drink piss is almost a right of passage, where if one doesn't imbue regularly one is considered a freak, it has problems. Here in Oz, they have a thing called the 'drive through bottlo', a place where one can fill the boot of one's car with as much piss as one can carry.
How can we seriously think we're going to control such drunken behaviour when we're offering drink at cut prices, from drive through shops? When we get in the mail, offers of cases and cases of booze for little money?
Glasses have been smashed in peoples' faces since the beginning of time; as a young man, I was always very wary whenever I went out to bars. I have always been very conscious of alcohol-fuelled violence, being as I was, on the receiving end of it several times. Some I was able to defend myself, others, I took a kickin. Thankfully, I have never had a broken glass shoved in my face. I can only imagine what horror the victim must feel as the razor sharp broken glass just eviscerates almost, the face.
Sight is lost, scarring is permanent. All because some fuckwit full of piss has taken an umbrage.
But perhaps most frightening of all is the fact that now young women are becoming involved in what was a male dominated activity.
I'll tell you who's to blame for this. Bloody Germaine Greer and her ilk telling women for years that they're man's equal. Well maybe today's modern man who's hen-pecked, and pussy-whipped, but not me, girly. You aren't my equal no matter how many bras you burn.
It's the same with driving as well; young girls now are becoming more brazen with their driving - zipping about in their little racy cars like they're on a racetrack. That also used to be the domain of young men.
But now, armed with years of self belief, the young women are now as aggressive as young men.
Where's it going to end? The extrapolation's a bit scary.
(IN fact, it's all about tweaking peoples heartstrings in order to sell papers - that's the ultimate tragedy...)
So, the concerned parties have all, almost as a single voice, called for the glass glasses to be replaced with plastic ones to prevent further attacks. Good idea actually and will certainly prevent any more disfigurement. We'll leave the various other implements found in the average bar that could be used as weapons for another time (think bottles, shorts glasses, chairs etc).
The experienced and long time drinkers aren't happy about this suggestion, claiming that the beer doesn't taste the same out of plastic as it does glass. Though not a hardened drinker, I would tend to agree. But what's the alternative. Well, obviously, if we could somehow control the drunks in society...but especially in this Australian society, where to drink piss is almost a right of passage, where if one doesn't imbue regularly one is considered a freak, it has problems. Here in Oz, they have a thing called the 'drive through bottlo', a place where one can fill the boot of one's car with as much piss as one can carry.
How can we seriously think we're going to control such drunken behaviour when we're offering drink at cut prices, from drive through shops? When we get in the mail, offers of cases and cases of booze for little money?
Glasses have been smashed in peoples' faces since the beginning of time; as a young man, I was always very wary whenever I went out to bars. I have always been very conscious of alcohol-fuelled violence, being as I was, on the receiving end of it several times. Some I was able to defend myself, others, I took a kickin. Thankfully, I have never had a broken glass shoved in my face. I can only imagine what horror the victim must feel as the razor sharp broken glass just eviscerates almost, the face.
Sight is lost, scarring is permanent. All because some fuckwit full of piss has taken an umbrage.
But perhaps most frightening of all is the fact that now young women are becoming involved in what was a male dominated activity.
I'll tell you who's to blame for this. Bloody Germaine Greer and her ilk telling women for years that they're man's equal. Well maybe today's modern man who's hen-pecked, and pussy-whipped, but not me, girly. You aren't my equal no matter how many bras you burn.
It's the same with driving as well; young girls now are becoming more brazen with their driving - zipping about in their little racy cars like they're on a racetrack. That also used to be the domain of young men.
But now, armed with years of self belief, the young women are now as aggressive as young men.
Where's it going to end? The extrapolation's a bit scary.
Saturday, November 10, 2007
Thursday, November 08, 2007
Well, I've been looking and looking for a new home; I may have found one (the one below) but Jeez, things better start moving soon as I have this wad of money that's burning a hole in my pocket.
And the bikes are calling like a siren! This could be the one! A stroker no less. Grab it by the throat and wring the neck of it - spin it up sideways, wheel in the air - woohoo!!!
Or this:
0-60mph in a tad over 2 seconds; top speed somewhere around 200mph. A triumph in motorcycle engineering - the mighty Fireblade.
Which, it has to be said, elicits a similar response in yours truly as the perfect Kate! Growl!
And the bikes are calling like a siren! This could be the one! A stroker no less. Grab it by the throat and wring the neck of it - spin it up sideways, wheel in the air - woohoo!!!
Or this:
0-60mph in a tad over 2 seconds; top speed somewhere around 200mph. A triumph in motorcycle engineering - the mighty Fireblade.
Which, it has to be said, elicits a similar response in yours truly as the perfect Kate! Growl!
Wednesday, November 07, 2007
AUSTRALIA 2007
Yep, the 21st century in Australia. With the laptop, the ipod, the self-reversing car.
Medicine has`reached new levels; machines have become more intelligent.
In fact, we're told by the Prime Minister that we've never been better off. That we're earning more and the country's economy is rip-roaring along (with the obligatory interest rate rises).
Yep, we're all doing fine!
Then perhaps someone could enlighten me as to why a seven year old girl was found in her home dead from...starvation. She weighed nine, that's right, nine, kilos. Yep. In the 21st century in a civilized country we have a young girl dying of starvation - lack of food.
Makes you wonder, no...?
Medicine has`reached new levels; machines have become more intelligent.
In fact, we're told by the Prime Minister that we've never been better off. That we're earning more and the country's economy is rip-roaring along (with the obligatory interest rate rises).
Yep, we're all doing fine!
Then perhaps someone could enlighten me as to why a seven year old girl was found in her home dead from...starvation. She weighed nine, that's right, nine, kilos. Yep. In the 21st century in a civilized country we have a young girl dying of starvation - lack of food.
Makes you wonder, no...?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
